Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
