woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
