i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
