I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize