oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
