I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
