I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
