I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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