Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
