listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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