Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
