Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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