i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
