sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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