You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
