Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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