could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Small penises have feelings too.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
