im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
