If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
