You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
