Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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