Sry I called you an 8
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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