You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
