Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
