I think i peed on brittanys purse
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
