I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
