You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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