i barfeds in our rink
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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