I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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