whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
