Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The air taste purple.
Randomize