these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
