it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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