It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
