This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
