is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
a search helicopter?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will pee on everything he values.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
