ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
