And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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