idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Two words: nipple clamps
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