So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's rum buckets o'clock
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
