We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
