4 words: hood of his car
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
