Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
