how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
