Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i think im in europe. pls send help
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