I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
