just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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