Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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