what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
