Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
