My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
