it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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