Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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